music journalism – VICTORIA WATTS

Action is Power: Why Your Vote Matters (Part 3)

July 4, 2018 by admin

behind the music, blog, blogger, female musician, independent artist, independent music, indie artist, indie music, indie music blog, music, music blog, music journalism, Musician, musician life, political blog, political commentary, politics

Welcome to the third and final blog about the importance of voting. With this one, I’d like to discuss the importance of local politics and why “down-ballot” issues and policies are so important to all of our daily lives. According to fairvote.org only about 60% of eligible voters in America vote in national elections, which is substantially lower than most developed western democratic countries. What may be more disappointing is that a mere 40% of eligible American voters actually turnout in midterm elections and even fewer show up for off-year elections that only pertain to local issues.

There is so much hype and media coverage when it comes to national elections, which makes sense given that those elections and potential leaders will represent all of us, not merely regions or communities. However, we often overlook how much local laws and community-related topics affect us and those closest to us.

Most people I’ve interviewed get riled up about the presidency and maybe occasionally a Senate race, but don’t even know who their Representative is in the US House of Representatives. One point that’s important to understand is that not only do locally-elected officials and local policies often have a more direct impact on our lives, but we also generally have a more direct impact on local officials and policies, compared to national elections. In local elections, we are dealing with smaller numbers of voters; therefore, one vote really can have a substantial difference on the outcomes, not to mention our sphere of influence being an even bigger contributing factor to election outcomes.

One tangible example of this can be taken from Virginia. A state delegate seat was won and lost by one single vote in one district. The Virginia House of Delegates faced a 50/50 split in their State House so this one district solely decided who would have the majority, and, in turn, would have control of statewide legislation and policy. In this case, it truly was one vote that mattered. There are also countless other cases of tight races that we saw up and down the ballot of both national elections and special elections. Every vote counts!

Whether it’s local or at the national level, the first step to understanding how you can vote to affect change in your communities and regions is knowing who represents your interest in government; their decisions affect your day-to-day-life. Don’t just blame or shame; GET INVOLVED!!! We have no right to complain about the state of the world if we are not doing anything about it. The idea of “writing your congress person” is not just an adage; it’s your right and responsibility as a free voter. In this political climate, it’s more important than ever to get involved. Our representatives not only want our input, but they need it. These Representatives may not necessarily care whether or not you voted for them in the past, but they absolutely care if you will vote for them in the future; therefore, our opinions absolutely sway their votes in legislation, so DO NOT be silent. Both parties have their share of guilt for partisan gridlock and inability to work together to solve problems… how can we get their attention? Vote! Make sure the people who represent you are actually listening to you and have a true willingness and ability to fight on your behalf.

(If you’re not sure who represents you in DC or your Statehouse, click HERE to get more info)

In short, this is the basic idea I’ve been trying to drive home through these blogs about voting:

If you’re worried about the quality of your children’s education, vote.

If you’re worried about you and your family having access to and resources for higher education, vote.

If you’re worried about how to pay for and obtain health insurance, vote.

If you’re worried about who you’ll be allowed to marry, vote.

If you’re worried about the limitations imposed on who you’re allowed to be in our society, vote.

If you’re even simply worried about the amount of potholes in your city, vote.

Many people seem to view politics as a zero-sum game: as more people are given representation and a political voice, those who traditionally have power will lose their standing. But this is a narrow way to look at the democratic process. We should always be looking to expand representation; this is democracy at its very core. If we are worried about what happens when we bring more people to the table and how we will get everyone to fit in a seat, then maybe it’s time to build a bigger table. This starts with simply showing up. Vote.

(Check out Part 1 and 2 of this blog series here: Part 1, Part 2)

Action is Power: Why Your Vote Matters (Part 2)

June 19, 2018 by admin

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art blog, artist, being the music, female artist, female musician, independent artist, independent music, local artist, local music, music, music blog, music journalism, Musician, Philadelphia, philly, policy, political commentary, political issues, politics, voting

Welcome to Part 2 of my series on the importance of voting. Today, I want to discuss aspects of the “numbers game” that help make your vote so important. Many people say their vote doesn’t count. In reality, our vote counts for a lot more than we are often aware of. Particularly in the last few election cycles, we are starting to hear more reports of small margin victories and losses. We should bear in mind that while elections may not generally be won or lost by a single vote, the margin often amounts to small communities of people that we can have influence over by being engaged and vocal on political issues.

There are a few different points I’d like to consider. First, in huge presidential elections, we have now seen two major elections (Bush vs. Gore and Trump vs. Clinton) in the past 20 years that were won and lost by mere tens of thousands of votes in a handful of swing states. We’re talking about numbers that equate to the size of a few small college campuses or a handful of small suburban areas that decided our next president. In 2016, razor-thin margins unexpectedly flipped a number of key states in favor of Donald Trump: Michigan was decided by around 13,000 votes, Wisconsin by around 27,000 votes, Arizona by around 91,000 votes, etc. These are differences of mere percentage points. There was actually a case of a state level house race in a recent election being decided by a single, individual vote that had the potential to flip that state house from Republican to Democrat. Literally, one vote! But that’s a story for the next blog…

We generally get wrapped up in how OUR individual vote counts, but, perhaps, more importantly, we should be considering how our involvement and engagement in politics can have a substantial impact on how those around us choose to vote. The numbers game is not simply about the vote that you cast: it’s your vote AND the votes of those around you whom you can directly and indirectly influence. Think of all your family members, colleagues at work, classmates, friends, people at your place of worship, people in your community, those you network with via social media, and those involved in organizations you choose to participate in. If we each truly consider our sphere of influence, most of us would be surprised by how wide our nets can be cast. Do not undersell the influence you can have!

Another aspect of voting to consider is who is voting and who is not. Today, popular opinion is generally more progressive than it is conservative (roughly two-thirds of Americans support gun control, about 60% support gay marriage, nearly 80% support Dreamers becoming citizens or permanent legal residents, two-thirds oppose the new “Zero Tolerance” immigration policy, and approximately 60% believe the government has a responsibility to help every American obtain health insurance). However, Republicans control a majority of State Houses, Governorships, the Presidency, and both houses of the U.S. Congress. This is not a dig at Republicans; I simply want to point out that there is often a disconnect between what Americans believe and what those sent to represent them believe. One of the biggest reasons for this is that so many Americans do not show up to vote, especially among younger demographics of people.

Baby Boomers and Millennials each represent close to one-third of the electorate, yet Millennials had a mere 46% voter turnout in 2016. Contrast that to Baby Boomers at around 69% and the Silent Generation (ages 71+) at around 72%. Overall, less than 60% of the eligible voters in America actually voted in the 2016 election cycle. Half the battle here is just showing up. Younger voters (ages 18-30) are arguably the people who will be most affected long term by new legislation passed, yet they are the least represented in government because they do not show up to vote. At times, we essentially have people in their 70s and 80s deciding policies that will affect the lives of Americans 30 years from now, when those older folks voting will most likely not even be around to reap the consequences. We’re having other people decide what OUR future is going to look like

Also, Millennials have more access to information and convenience than any other generation before us. We can order food or household items at the touch of a button, we can apply to jobs from the comfort of our homes, we can even date using our smartphones. Yet, we don’t seem to care as much about the bigger policy choices we face: what kind of health care coverage will I qualify for? Will my kids be able to afford a college education? Will I be able to pay off the debt I accumulated from my education? Will gun violence victimize me or someone I know? The list goes on and on.

Young people with access to tools like social media have more power than we think. Ideas can spread at the speed of light. We possess a more immediate outlet for expressing ourselves and our beliefs than older generations; it’s simply a matter of embracing that and engaging in the issues that matter most to us. If younger people showed up, we would have the power to change the current political landscape. It’s a numbers game. I want to conclude this blog with one final thought: We must remember that while one person may not be able to change the world, a generation of people certainly can.

(Check out Parts 1 and 3 of this series here: Part 1, Part 3)

Action is Power: Why Your Vote Matters (Part 1)

May 22, 2018 by admin

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behind the music, blog, blogger, democracy, female artist, female entrepreneur, female musician, independent artist, indie artist, indie music, local artist, local music, music, music blog, music journalism, Musician, Philadelphia, philly, political commentary, politics, singer songwriter, voting

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I need to confess something: I’m fascinated by politics. We had a primary vote this past week in Pennsylvania, so I’ve had several political issues on my mind. However, I find that when I try to bring up politics with people, many are annoyed by the idea of discussing these topics, and they also do not see the importance of voting. While I fully respect someone’s choice to disagree with my opinions on policy, I do not support anyone’s decision to disengage from the democratic process. In order for our government and laws to work at their best, it requires all of us to participate. Here is why I think politics, and way more importantly, policy, should matter to all of us.

Let me start the first part of this series by painting a picture of how politics and policy affect me personally. As a musician, public policy helps shapes my career: I’m a small business owner, so I’m subject to meticulous tax rules, business regulations, and more difficult access to healthcare.

But my personal life has an even deeper connection to public policy:

I grew up low income

I’m a woman

I’m a lesbian

I work in the arts and in education

I have a substantial amount of student debt (Student Loan Forgiveness saves me about $500/month)

My partner has a serious pre-existing health condition for which she requires regular medications and sporadic surgical procedures

I don’t have healthcare through my job (The ACA saves me $400/month and protects my partner’s access to health care as someone with a pre-existing condition)

I deeply believe in social justice and the power of resources to change someone’s circumstance

I have friends in the military

I do not identify as a mainstream evangelical Christian

The high school I attended fell victim to a school shooting

It’s so difficult for me not to feel as though so much of politics is, in fact, personal. Countless policy decisions made at the local, state, and federal level directly affect nearly every aspect of my life. This leads to questions that circle in my head on an almost daily basis:

Will my partner and I still be allowed to marry and/or adopt children after new Supreme Court justices are appointed and may be able to overturn marriage equality?

Will the underserved youth I work with have access to the quality education they need to rise above their given circumstance?

Will my student loan debt be too great an obstacle to overcome in my pursuit to make a better life for myself and my future family?

Will my partner and I spend the rest of our lives together trapped under medical debt?

Will my sisters’ kids, my kids, your kids, grow up in a world where hateful speech and sexual assault are tolerated?

Will our freedom of religion be threatened out of fear?

Will sensible gun control measures that are adhered to by the rest of the western world ever be enacted here in America in order to prevent the epidemic of mass shootings?

Will my friends in the military be sent to a war they don’t believe in?

I understand that these concerns seem a little dramatic to some, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a worrier by nature. However, I also fall into several categories of disadvantage that these nay-sayers may not understand. Again, no one should have to apologize for having a different background or belief than me, but I do think it’s crucial to explain some of my concerns in order to reach common ground and better understand why policy matters to someone like me. Politics are personal. Policy matters; therefore, elections and voting matter.

I will save my other defenses of the democratic process for my next blog, in which I’ll further break down my argument for the importance of voting. I want to end this blog with one thought: apathy and complacency may be the two biggest threats to a free and safe society.
I respect the vote, even when I’m not happy with the results. I believe we need to be reflective and hold our leaders to a standard worthy of the America we know and love; one of the best ways to do that is by voting and getting involved in the political process. We should all be proactive in helping to create the America we want to see.

Thank you to EVERYONE (no matter who you vote for) for voting. It’s always amazing to see so many people get involved in our beautiful democratic process. And thank you so much to our polling place volunteers that work tirelessly to make this process available to us.

I hope and pray for the best, for every single American. By design, this place is for ALL OF US.

(Check out Parts 2 and 3 of this blog series here: Part 2, Part 3)

Storytime: Late Nights and Weekends (Part 3)

April 16, 2018 by admin

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behind the music, DIY, female artist, female entrepreneur, female musician, indie artist, indie music, indie music blog, local artist, local music, music blog, music journalism, Philadelphia, philly, singer songwriter

We are finally beginning the third and final installment of the Late Nights and Weekends Storytime series. There will be plenty more “Storytimes” to come, but this week, we are looking at the final two tracks of Late Nights and Weekends: “Piece of the Puzzle” and “Ocean Dove.” These two tracks both delve into more introspective content that I’m sharing publicly for the first time. Please keep an open mind and… buckle up!

When I wrote “Piece of the Puzzle,” I was actually still living in California but in the process of planning a move to the East Coast to attend a music school in Massachusetts. A few weeks earlier, I met someone with whom I began a romantic relationship. However, after learning of my planned move east, this person decided to break things off out of a desire to avoid a long-distance relationship. In hindsight, I can certainly respect that sentiment, but as a heartbroken twenty-year-old, I was devastated by a potential love abandoned so suddenly. I embarked on my East Coast adventure a couple of weeks later, still rattled by the experience, but before I left, I managed to capture my grieving process in a song that became “Piece of the Puzzle.” There are many lines within the song that are very literal and not dressed up with the metaphors of a sophisticated writer; I was raw and so are the lyrics: “When I, with my heart, step on that plane, my eyes I cannot let see you again. I dread that if they can, once more they’ll want a new start to all this torture which is bound to repeat soon” and “We can chance a happy ending, but won’t allow that in. Sometimes, the wisest voice makes the least amount of sense.” I also expose my need to hide what I’m really feeling (referenced in other songs as well) so as not to appear weak: “It’s time to break my silence on this: my heart agrees not with what leaves my lips. Not one to show a weakness or where it is I’m frail, I act the part of strongest. Beneath, I feel I’ve failed.” The chorus introduces more of the universal feeling of a break up: “We tore us, we tore us, we tore us apart. ‘Cause we’ve kept ourselves from what we both wanted most. Just like a great story never to be told, so we break another piece of the puzzle.” It took me some time to fully recover (and several more songs about feeling heartbroken!), but I obviously picked up the pieces and became a stronger person for having gone through the experience. And, to this day, this is my favorite ballade to play at shows.

The last song on Late Nights and Weekends is “Ocean Dove.” This track is more of a confession song about a flaw within myself. I have always been a very independent person and often to the point of being stubborn and unwavering in my need for that autonomy. While musing about this distinctive feature of my personality, I began to see that while personal independence (especially as a female) can be a wonderfully positive asset and an understandable need, my occasional indignation for this was sometimes more limiting than helpful. I will never say that an independent person (and again, especially if female) is a negative thing, as I genuinely view that quality as an incredibly powerful attribute; I simply want to be honest about the times in which my inability to leave room for others has led to me missing out on some truly great interpersonal connections. I think the line at the end of the chorus best sums up the overall commentary I was aiming for: “Sometimes freedom can trap you more than boundaries built by man.” As a side note to that line, I generally promote the use of “humans” or “humankind” when referring to the universal use of “man” or “mankind,” since I vehemently support the use of Fair Language. However, as a young woman wrestling with the balance of being an independent female while also leaving room for those that seek to enrich my life, I wanted to be intentional with using the word “man.” I wanted to do this because it is often dynamics with men that lead to feeling that tug-of-war within myself (it’s a constant battle to determine what is “assertive” and what is “closed off”), AND because we live in a patriarchal structure that is typically defined by the rules of gender norms and the men who occupy “the top.”

There is one last story I’d like to share with this song that musicians will probably appreciate. When I wrote this song, I was finishing one of my final semesters of college. I had just moved to Philadelphia, so I didn’t have a car and didn’t know many people. My immensely sweet friend and roommate, Talain Rayne, would drop me off every morning before class, around 8am, and he would pick me up every night when he was done with work around 9pm, until I secured a vehicle a couple of months later. I can’t say how grateful I was for him being so accommodating and helpful, but the circumstances meant I was stuck on my school’s campus for over 12 hours every day. Whenever I would get burnt out on my ever-increasing stack of homework assignments, I would wander around campus looking for ways to take a break from academics. One day, I happened across a prayer chapel that seemed rarely used by staff or students, but was equipped with an old piano. I started sneaking into the chapel at night, when everyone else had left, in order to play that aged, but beautiful-sounding, piano. Soon after that, I began composing “Ocean Dove.” Because the piano was quite old, it had some slightly out of tune keys and possessed a very specific timbre. I made multiple recordings while experimenting with different versions of “Ocean Dove,” and I loved the way the character of that aged piano sounded with the song. To this day, I still wish I could somehow bottle up or otherwise recapture that very specific vibe of the old piano. It’s funny how these types of imperfect objects, people, or experiences (but so beautiful in their own unique way), can stick with us far after they leave our lives. I will always have fond memories of my late nights spent at that piano.

With that, I say “it’s a wrap!” to my Late Nights and Weekends Storytime series. Stay tuned for more of both a fresh Storytime series and more blogs about the ups and down of the musician life. Talk to you soon!

Storytime: Late Nights and Weekends (Part 2)

April 10, 2018 by admin

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blog, female musician, independent music, indie artist, indie music, music, music blog, music journalism, singer songwriter

It’s time, my friends, for Part 2 of my “Storytime” series, in which I tell you the stories and inspiration behind the songs I write. Today, we are exploring two songs from my second EP Late Nights and Weekends: “Long Way to Go” and “Gardeners.” Both of these songs are more retrospective, as I was exploring flaws and baggage within myself.

“Long Way to Go” captures my feelings of inadequacy. I have long thought that most artist-types have a constant tug-of-war when it comes to self-doubt, and I’m certainly no exception to that. However, I discovered that so many different types of people struggle with this as well; it seems to be one of those universal human experiences that we cannot escape. “Long Way to Go” created a great outlet for me to sort through these thoughts and emotions. I start the first verse by admitting severe disappointment: “Here I am, waiting for a miracle for relief, because my road has failed to sweep me off my feet.” Throughout the song, I also expose that I don’t always feel I’ve become the person I set out to be, which can be incredibly disheartening. After I finished writing this song, the ebb and flow of life’s defeats and victories became a little clearer. You win some; you lose some. As cliché as the old adage is, it has helped me to keep certain ups and downs in perspective. Simply because something looks different than you imagined it would, doesn’t mean it’s bad. And similarly, just because something may actually turn out badly, doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance to make something good come out of it.

When it came time to producing the video for “Long Way to Go,” I had a very specific vision, especially since I had come to realize how many people I knew experienced the same feelings that I expressed in the song. I thought it would be a perfect fit to feature different people working hard to achieve their goals and striving to be the person they want to be. The video follows a dancer, a victim of bullying, a nurse, and someone trying to make their community a better place. They all work tirelessly and continue to push forward, keeping their eye off of obstacles and focused on overcoming challenges. This video was a particularly enjoyable project for me, as it presented the opportunity to cast a good friend (in the role of “Good Citizen”) who has been unwaveringly supportive of my music since the moment we met AND my real-life girlfriend (who plays the role of “Nurse” and is also a real life pediatric nurse). Sometimes, I am at loss for how I can express my gratitude to those who walk beside me in my musical journey, but this song and this video offered a wonderful opportunity to make them a bigger part of the process and allowed them a way to show others their participation in these projects, beyond just a behind-the-scenes role. I’m forever grateful to all those who encourage me and my endeavors, and I was so happy to share this project with a couple of my truest and most loyal advocates!

The next track on Late Nights and Weekends is “Gardeners.” The song goes a little more into my past. I wrote this at a time when I was dating someone that had to bear repeated family tragedies and losses. I was able to empathize because of some of my own scars that I brought to the table. We were able to connect and help each other work through the issues with which we struggled, because we could relate on such a dark and intimate level. This shared experience, of mourning and learning to cope, inspired me to write a song that essentially served as a vow. This was a vow to do everything in my power to not repeat the choices of my family, that I would find a better way for myself and my future family. If we are handed a bad set of cards, we have the choice to try to change them. Just because you start ten steps behind, doesn’t mean you have to stay there. This song offered me the therapy I needed to uncover my own darkness, but also to explore new ways of paving my own path, that could lead somewhere better than I ever thought possible.

To anyone out there struggling with self-doubt or feelings of being “stuck,” you are not alone. Life has a way of kicking us when we are down, but it can also bring new and unexpected discoveries that enrich our lives beyond what even we can imagine. Stay open to new paths, stay awake and engaged in your life so you can absorb every ounce of goodness that life can offer, and don’t let anyone make you think you don’t deserve what you earn.

Storytime: Late Nights and Weekends (Part 1)

April 3, 2018 by admin

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indie artist, indie music blog, indiemusic, music, music blog, music journalism, musical journey, Musician, Philadelphia, philly, singer songwriter

Every song reflects a unique experience, thought, concern, or question. As a writer, I take great care in how I craft the pieces of music I share with the world. It’s important to me that they not only reflect quality, but also truth and honesty. In my personal life, I do not always wear my heart on my sleeve, and I do not enjoy feeling as though my deepest worries and vulnerabilities are laid bare. However, there is something about sharing a song that creates a safe space for this type of confession and openness.

In the spirit of exploring that safe space, I would like to take the next few weeks of the blog to share the stories, and at times, struggles, that inspired the music I’ve released to-date. Today, I will be discussing “Scratch” and “Eighth Sea,” the first two tracks from my EP Late Nights and Weekends. First of all, the title of the EP reflects the first chapter of my professional career doing music full time, and it is an ode to my musician lifestyle, for which my working hours are mostly late nights and weekends. I like the idea of each album marking a chapter in my musical journey (my first EP was titled Songs for the Sidewalk since I started as a busker/street musician).

Let’s start with the story behind “Scratch.” Not only is “Scratch” the first track on this record, but it was also the first single and first video released from this record. I wrote this song at a time when I felt as though I had a reverse-Midas effect; everything I touched or cared about seemed to end badly. I kept thinking that the only explanation for these outcomes was the common denominator: me. When things fall apart around us, it’s difficult to not feel at fault. My writing process began with a line that later became the 2nd verse: “I said I’d worked through this curse within me, but I must have lied to you. I swear that I did not mean to scratch you. But I’ve been known to leave a mark on those who dare to draw me close.” Throughout the song, I make a plea to the person I’m addressing to run away while they still can, because my bad fortune was contagious and rooted deep inside me. Writing this song was a great way to cope with and heal from a number of disappointments that seemed to plague me. Many of those disappointments have since resolved or just become a distant memory from my past. But this song remains a reminder of what that helplessness can feel like and a reminder that it eventually will pass.

The second track on Late Nights and Weekends is “Eighth Sea.” This song has a very random origin story… the chorus melody came to me while visiting Boston. I was there with other musician friends. We were riding the subway one day when, all of a sudden, a melody came to me! I didn’t have a way to record it in the loud and crowded subway so I had to keep singing it in my head so I wouldn’t forget how it sounded, and while doing that, some lyrics started filling in. I obviously didn’t have access to a pen and paper either, so I did my best to repeat the melody and lyrics over and over in my head until we finally arrived at our stop. As soon as I got off the subway, I found as quiet a corner as possible under the circumstances, whipped out my flip phone (yes, a few years ago, I was still rocking a flip phone, but that’s a whole other conversation), and began singing into the voice recorder on my phone. I walked around with that song idea literally in my pocket all day. The second we got back to our hotel, I sat with my guitar and started scribing everything from my phone recording and added additional parts I had thought of throughout the day.

At the time, I was getting over a fairly recent break up, so the concept of writing an angry break up song felt natural. This song is about feeling like a relationship was one-sided. The pre-chorus sets up the context of the chorus imagery: “I cried an eighth sea, just to sail away from you.” In this relationship being referenced, I felt like I had been the “giver” and the other individual had been the “taker,” hence the chorus lyrics: “So come with me to my new eighth sea, where I’ll drown the wreck you’ve made. There I can force you to turn the tables, so you’ll just give and I’ll just take… You’re my great mistake.” This song reflects many feelings of anger I was wrestling with following this break up. Interestingly though, this song has simultaneously become a fond memory since it was written during an extremely positive traveling experience with good friends. I suppose we can consider that one more example of how music has a remarkable way of reaching us beyond what even we can understand.

Stay tuned over the next few weeks. There will be more stories behind the songs!

Songwriting: Art or Science?

March 26, 2018 by admin

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behind the music, Gigging, music blog, music journalism, Musician, Philadelphia, philly, singer songwriter, storytelling, Touring

As a small business owner in the music industry, I wear many hats on a daily basis. I am the CEO, accountant, teacher, entertainer, marketing manager, writer, instrumentalist, and the list goes on. But, if I had to pick one thing that I most identify with, and that most sets my soul on fire, I would say that I am a “Songwriter.”

I think we can all pinpoint certain songs that have comforted us, spoken to us, or simply made us feel not alone in an experience, thought, or emotion. Hell, some songs just make us want to dance, and that is as human as it gets too! The power of song is one that I do not take lightly and one that I aspire to better understand every day of my life. This is a complex subject to articulate, because it is so personal to me, but here is my best attempt to explain some of what that process is like for me….

First of all, let’s start with why I enjoy and value writing songs. I love the process of creating something from nothing. And it’s become a comforting thought to accept that not every finished product needs to be a mind-blowing work of art for others to consume; some songs are just created for the sake of creative output or internal release, and that’s okay! This has become a process of self-acceptance for me: I am imperfect, exactly like my creations, and that is what makes them (and me!) unique and valuable.
It’s also been an interesting journey to see how some songs have become a way to connect with others on a deeper level. I’m not always the most “open book” to those around me, but I’ve found that some close to me have been able to relate with me through songs. Sometimes, we have a common experience to share with one another that gets brought to the surface by a song. Or sometimes, a song I write or that they write (for those of my friends who are also writers) reveals a piece of ourselves that we may not have willingly shared in a conversation.
I love the idea that some creations are just for me, and some creations are meant to be shared. Songs can be both self-therapy and a communal experience. It’s a never-ending, but incredibly exciting paradox!

I often get asked, “What inspires you?” or “What’s your song writing process?”

The truth is, each experience I have in life manifests itself differently. Different situations or heartbreaks inspire different creative outputs. I am influenced and moved by so many different aspects of life, and I’m so touched by so many different people and places; it’s hard for me to offer one definitive answer when asked to identify my inspiration. I often default to the seemingly disingenuous explanation of “life inspires me,” but frankly, it’s the truth.
I’ve also found that each song tends to demand a different writing approach. I will be the first to own how cliché this sounds, but truly, song writing is more about being a willing vessel than anything else. Sometimes, a melody will just come to me, and I’ll work a song around that. Other times, I’ll be playing an instrument and happen across a catchy riff or melodic line. And still other times, I have something in my gut, an emotion or thought, that is bursting to come out; I’ll simply have a need to play music until something feels right, that satisfies that internal restlessness or hunger. I have utilized a number of different approaches to this craft, and I would encourage any aspiring song writers to experiment with different methods to see which one (or ones) work best for him or her.

Songwriting is simultaneously a discipline and a creative expression.

When you begin approaching songwriting as a profession, there can certainly be some calculations in how you tackle a given assignment or project, but I don’t believe it can always fully live and breathe there. There are absolutely some recommended formulas for “hit songs,” and it can be a fun and eye-opening challenge to try to adapt to that. I strongly encourage any writers out there to push themselves to try this.
However, I also don’t think the end goal for every song we set out to create should be the goal of making a “hit.” There are many times I need to write for my own sanity, or I realize it’s been too long since I’ve written, so I need to slow down and allow space for output for the sake of regularity and maintaining those creative muscles. It’s incredibly important to keep your skills sharp, but equally important to keep your heart and mind open to new ideas and processes.

Songwriting is one of the great joys of my life, and it is something I intend to do for as long as I’m physically able. I think as humans, we all need some type of creative expression like this. If you are not a songwriter, there are still so many other creative outputs that may be a good exercise for you to try and possibly start incorporating into your regular routine. These types of disciplines are great for the mind, body, AND soul. Pen to paper is merely one expression. What will your “songwriting” be?

Music is My Lover

May 20, 2014 by admin

Category 1

behind the music, blog, independent artist, indie artist, indie music, music, music blog, music journalism, singer songwriter

It seems to be a known fact that the music industry is tough, perhaps one of the most difficult fields one can choose to enter. It seems to be agreed that it is a struggle to be the “starving artist” type. But it is a harsh reality for those of us who actually walk down this path. We are persistently faced with the toll it takes, not just financially, but mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Though I can never truly articulate the sacrifice or the obstacles or how completely taxing music is on me personally (and fellow artists I’ve worked with), I want to attempt an explanation.

I am writing simply to help all who love music understand the pain-staking work that goes on behind the scenes to make music possible for all of us to enjoy. I think it’s worthy of attention, and it’s important for outsiders looking in to try to grasp what it is that us musicians do for the love of music.

The best way I’ve come to understand my relationship to music is this: music is my lover. I feel so passionately towards music. I would give just about anything (short of compromising myself) to sustain my musical career. I give, sacrifice, and am always willing to do it again. I do all of this without promise of return and sometimes at a detriment to my own wellbeing, because love gives selflessly. There are some days I’m in love with music, because it feeds my soul in a way that nothing or no one else can. But there are other days that I despise music for taking so much out of me, and placing this burden within me to create music, no matter the cost.

In spite of having a college degree and having a number of promising career prospects, I’ve picked music. I’m still trying to make music happen, which is equal parts enriching and completely demoralizing. Some days I feel utterly defeated and financially crippled; other days I have the greatest natural high from the work I do and how much I enjoy it. It’s a bizarre back and forth, and one that takes an immense toll on every part of my being.

So, why keeping doing it? That’s just it! As with a lover, when you love, you sacrifice. When you desire, you pursue. When you are passionate, you give every piece of yourself.

Music is a part of who I am; it is not just something I do. It is in me to create and share. It cannot be denied, nor will it allow itself to be denied by me. It is like a lover that soothes my soul in a way beyond what anyone else comprehends, but also knows how to crawl under my skin and take the last ounce of sanity I have at the end of the day.

Music is something that I breathe. Nothing can ever change that. And while it sometimes sucks everything out of me and leaves me wondering where I will find the strength for the next day’s challenges, it is also my reason for getting out of bed in the morning.

Music is an integral part of what makes me, me. I would not be the same person if I just decided to ignore the musical need within me. I would not have the same zest for life or the same passion towards loving people. Music is what makes me tick. Like a lover, it is imperfect, but loves me unconditionally and gives me what I need to push forward and dream bigger. Music is why I feel I can reach seemingly unattainable heights.

Even as I write this, I’m brought to tears by how strongly I feel towards music. I believe that music is the means by which the intangible connects with the physical world. It is the greatest of joys and the deepest of sorrows lay bare. It can be used to communicate when even the sincerest of words fail. Art, what we create, is the only true connection of our three parts: mind, body, and soul; it is an adventure to which our whole being is invited. Art is beauty and truth uncovered through the expression of the human condition.

So to all of those who understand this need to create and choose to march onward: dream big, live loud, and do not give up. We have no guarantee of success or return on our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual investment into our art, but we don’t need one. All we need is to keep the fire burning within us, even on the days we feel we have nothing left. All we need is to keep creating, keep loving, and keep persevering. Despite what everyone else may think, I know we can chase the impossible!

Gather Around, Children…. Story time! (Part 2)

March 26, 2014 by admin

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behind the music, blog, blogger, female musician, independent music, indie artist, indie music, local artist, music, music blog, music journalism, singer songwriter

Yes, kids! It’s story time yet again! Part 2 will tell the stories and inspiration behind the final three songs on my EP, Songs for the Sidewalk. I also want to have a quick aside and explain where the title of the EP comes from. As many of you know, I’m highly experienced at busking (playing music on the street for money). I did it all throughout college as a way to make some extra cash outside of my jobs. I lived in four different places in college, all over the country, and my busking skills helped finance each new expedition. Many of the songs I wrote during this time were debuted on the streets where I performed, sometimes being played only for my ears and the sidewalk. Busking was sometimes fun, but also could be demoralizing and defeating. These were all experiences that helped me toughen up and shed my fears. It seemed fitting to make my first official release an ode to these valuable skin-thickening times.

Now to get to these individual songs….

1) “Builders Quit Faster”

This song is about broken homes. My own experience with my parents is complicated, and I felt the need to create a safe space to express that, not realizing at the time that I would ever release this song. After writing the song, I began showing it to some close friends, who connected with it so much that they encouraged me to play it at shows. It slowly evolved into a crowd favorite and was thus included on the EP. This one was a tough song to write, and an even tougher one to be honest about once it was released publicly. But here’s my confession: this song describes my thoughts and feelings as a child, and my struggles as a young adult to reconcile those experiences with who I want to become, “These parents need raising by the children they lost, the ones that misfortune caught” and “Is this where we break, at fail to unmake the damage once done by the old to the young?” I’d like to believe that I’ve now found a mostly healthy balance of acceptance with my turbulent upbringing and moving forward with the happiness I’ve reached as a fully independent adult. The scars of childhood pains are always there, but the wounds heal, and we can choose to let the past be the past. The hardships in my young years are a huge part of who I am today, so I can never look on it as a useless experience. I take from it what makes me strong, and move courageously (though not without fumbling) into the future I want to make for myself.

2) “Game Over”

This song seems to cause a lot of confusion. Many have told me they think the song is about a break up since it would be game over for that relationship. In fact, it is quite the opposite. This song is actually about finding love and finding it in a most unexpected way. Allow me to elaborate. We often thinking of dating as a game, one that is sometimes fun and sometimes exhausting. Either way, we perpetuate the cycle. It’s like a game of hide and seek, over and over again. However, when we find the right person, we cease feeling a need to play these games. The verses explain this, “I’ve tagged base, with both hands flying wild in the chase, but now I’m done…. I’ve given up my right to give up love” and “Count to ten. I always made them track where I had been… but it’s always there, there’s something in the way you stare that traps my need to leave out every detail past what seems.” The chorus dives into how many of us resist love and try to be closed off to it, “I’ve been locked all this time. Frozen by a wordless bind,” and how love can still break through that, “You snuck by what we were, the game is over, over.” The idea is that in spite of ourselves, we can love and be loved in return. We just have to realize when the game is over.

3) “Paralyzed”

This song explains how we often feel unsure of the person to whom we’ve given our heart. We fall in love, but remain worried that other person might not feel as head over heals as we are. The verses explain the process of falling for someone despite being a skeptic of love, “As an outsider to love for so long I’ve learned to master the art of cynical words. And with each one I bore a broken piece of my hope in love so I commanded retreat.” The next section describes finally taking the leap into a relationship and hoping the other person is just as enamored, “You were my dare. A worthy risk, I’d say. But do you agree. Talk straight to me.” The chorus expresses the longing to know for sure that the other person is on the same page, “If this was all a lie, would you say it’s worth deception? If only this one try, would you stake your other options? If I was your last, would you be content with me?” The bridge is an outright confession about the fear of one’s feelings and efforts being wasted, “I’m paralyzed by fear of your words. Your lost love would cut the deepest.” We all experience joy and fears in relationships so it felt fitting to write a song that tried to capture that mix of excitement and coinciding anxiety.

That concludes my journey through Songs for the Sidewalk. I hope you all found little morsels of significance. These stories aren’t meant to be ground breaking or impart enlightened wisdom onto readers. These are simply my stories and myself poured into music. I thank you for reading them, because I know that I’m certainly not the most concise person. But when it comes to matters of the heart and soul, I’ve always believed that expression was a priority above brevity. Thank you to those who can bear with me long enough to enjoy these anecdotes. I hope to progress my journey through music as I continue to write about what life puts before me. And I look forward to sharing that journey with you all in the days, weeks, and years to come.

Gather Around, Children… Story time! (Part 1)

March 25, 2014 by admin

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behind the music, blog, blogger, female musician, independent music, indie artist, indie music, local artist, music, music blog, music journalism, singer songwriter

Every creative piece has a story. Whether we are discussing a work of art, a movie, or our favorite song, each are a creative output that is a result of some input. Each of them comes from somewhere, some place of longing, loss, or perhaps personal triumph. Lately, many of you have been asking about the stories behind my songs. Some of you know more than just the songs from my EP, Songs for the Sidewalk, and have inquired about those tunes, but for the sake of brevity (not generally a strength of mine, though long-windedness seems to come quite naturally), I’ll just address that collection of six songs. Part 1 will deal with the first three songs on the EP: “A Thousand Miles Between,” “Waiting on the Sun,” and “The Tree Song.” In an effort to settle any questions about where these songs have come from, what inspired me to set pen to paper, and in an effort to be candid and vulnerable (also not a strength of mine), here are the stories behind the first three songs on Songs for the Sidewalk:

1) “A Thousand Miles Between”

I wrote this song four years ago while attending the Contemporary Music Center, which was based in Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts at the time. In order to attend the program, I had to make the choice to move from sunny Southern California to a scarcely populated island off the coast of Massachusetts… in the middle of winter! When I finally decided to make the move to the East Coast, I embraced the idea of relocating, except for one small thing: I had just started dating a really great guy that I had known for almost two years. After discussing our options of either breaking up or trying out a long distance relationship, we decided to just break it off. I went to the island with a broken heart over the loss. This song is essentially a conversation with the island, asking if it can save me from the hurt I was feeling, “Just need a couple thousand miles between. New isle, please undo my memory. Don’t know if men are islands but it seems that surely this woman will have to be. I have to be.” On a more positive note, the split sparked a creative fire that led to a number of my favorite compositions. The experience on the island ended up being exponentially better, because I was single and had the freedom to embrace every aspect of the journey. So not every loss remains loss. There is always something to be gained!

2) “Waiting on the Sun”

This song was also written while living on the island. I used to stay up late and write songs in the laundry room or lining closet of the music school, since other students generally opted to use the practice rooms, rendering them occupied. This song was written mostly in one sitting while retreating to the linen closet. I’m a bookworm and like to read everything! I had recently read Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament, because I had always enjoyed King Solomon’s writings; he was so honest and had a sort of artist’s melancholy that I could relate to. I had read several chapters that discussed how meaningless life felt to him at times and how we waste our time toiling over pointless pursuits. I found his musings and poetry so moving and thought-provoking that I decided to write my own version of it. The phrase “waiting on the sun” is meant to describe how we are all like slaves to the sun, waiting on it hand-and-foot. We just let day after day roll by, participating in the same tired activities and sharing in the same empty quests for fulfillment, “We press the plows to the field each day we rise, labor for a master, then act surprised when he cracks our backs with whips and steals our grain, reaping what we sow since we have no claim” and “All that we can do has been done before; History’s repeating, but each time more worn. Wind’s not for chasing but my feet won’t stop, can’t put down my chains when they’re all I’ve got.” I wanted it to be a reminder to myself to break that cycle and aim higher than the mediocrity I’m so often faced with.

3) “The Tree Song”

This song is about my favorite climbing tree back home in California. There’s an area near where I grew up called Balboa Park, and it’s one of the central points of San Diego. I have so many wonderful memories of taking class trips to Balboa Park when I was in grade school. We were supposed to go there for learning activities, like exploring the many reputable museums the park has to offer. But the highlight for me was always climbing my tree, which made its home in the middle of Balboa Park. It was huge and had the most amazing roots growing up from the ground around it. It had vines hanging off every tangled branch. It was a childhood wonderland!… I wrote “The Tree Song” when I was 18, and I was a couple months into my first year of college. I was still living in San Diego, but it had been a number of years since I had really spent time in Balboa Park, so I decided I’d return to pay a visit to my beautiful tree. However, when I arrived at the tree, it was being held up by wires and was fenced off so that no one could get within 50 feet of it. The tree, MY tree, had become so old and worn out that it could no longer stand on its own and could no longer receive the eager children it once embraced so emphatically. This was a coming-of-age moment, in which I had to face the realities of adulthood and growing up, at a time in my life when I was already beginning to tackle that challenging transition, when I was already questioning the magic I once saw in life. The tree reminded me that we all have to grow up and grow old. But I also saw hope that life is still beautiful. This tree gave happiness to countless children like myself who would forever cherish those fond memories, “Your vines and leaves brushed my shoulders. You always knew how to offer comfort…. If I scraped my knees, you’d make me better. Your magic never failed to renew me.” I, like my tree, could bring light into other peoples’ lives. And maybe in my old age, they too would remember “When I could touch the sky.”

So there you have it, friends, the stories behind the first three songs on Songs for the Sidewalk! These are all little pieces of my life, my story, and my development as a person. I hope there are parts you can relate to and pull from. That’s always the most beautiful and touching part of the songwriting process, the final step where music acts as a gap to connect with others. I can only hope these small offerings of myself resonate with those who choose to listen.

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